No really, it’s true! Don’t believe me? Type my name into amazon.com and find out!
So I guess now would be a good time to update you all on my life lately.
- I found an incredible job!
- I’m twitterpated!
- My mom and a couple of my best friends have visited!
- I published a book!
Those of you who know me and/or follow my blog know that I moved to Seattle, WA last August. Oddly enough, months have passed since I last posted here, and my last few posts included some of the adventures I went on. But this one is going to be about the bigger things, a little more personal.
1. Let’s start with one of the biggest ones – I found a job! It was a difficult process to find a job that I felt fit right. I know not everyone has the luxury of waiting for the right job to come along, but if you can, do it!
After much searching, I began to apply for jobs here and there, just to see where that would take me. Next thing I knew, I had a call back for a job I didn’t think much about at first. But once I got talking to them and they sent me more information, I realized it was exactly where I wanted to be. After interviews and such, I was lucky enough to be given the position of a Pediatric Mental Health Assistant and Seattle Children’s Hospital!
The PMHS position is similar to my last position as a Residential Counselor, but also so very different. It is a great position filled with much room for growth. And the individuals who make up the team on the Medicine and Behavioral unit are amazing, which makes the position that much more of a blessing! Yay for jobs!
2. Moving on, I guess I should mention one of the best blessings in my life these days – my girlfriend Emily.
“They’re Twitterpated… it could happen to you!”
Now let me admit that finding a relationship on this new journey was not something I was planning on achieving this quickly… but life has a funny way of surprising you.
So I had joined okCupid, but not necessarily for a relationship. Being new to the area meant needing to build a new network of friends and such, so I figured reaching out on social media sites could help. I met a few people, built some new friendships and such, but there was one that struck my interest more than others.
As much as I felt an instant attraction to her, we communicated on again off again for a couple months before really taking advantage of one another’s company. We found ourselves to be on the same page in many ways; Neither of us were looking for a relationship, but were happily surprised when it found us. We were nervous to start a new relationship, but intrigued at the same time. We knew what we wanted in life for ourselves and with someone by our side. And it was through discussing these things that we established a balanced relationship. Since then, we’ve grown as individuals and a couple.
3. In November, February and March I had my mom and a couple of my best friends visit! I was eager to introduce them to my new life and so glad they were just as interested to see it. I was lucky enough to spend about a week with all of them! Being able to make memories with those closest to me at my new “home” meant the world! Introducing them to Emily was an added bonus too!
Life just kept looking up!
Now, in one of my last posts I voiced feeling confused about my usual expressive outlets. I still find myself not needing to paint or write as often as I used to, which has still taken some getting used to. But when I do write, I find it’s based off of emotions such as joy and love as where before, most of my writing came from darker places.
4. That being said, my “twitterpated” state of being that was my relationship with Emily provided me with multiple writing moments. Often I found myself unable to share my excitement in anyway other than through words. After writing a couple poems based on the early stages of my relationship with her, I realized how easy it was for me to communicate my true feelings through poems. And she was quick to let me know she wanted to read them.
I began to understand that my poetry was an extension of myself, and that it was okay to share such personal feelings with others. I also learned how badly wanted to involve her in that side of my life, especially since they were about her. After sharing a couple with her, it became a way for me to let her in, a way to tell her how I was really feeling, another way of communicating.
Next thing I knew, I had over twenty poems written about our relationship. That’s when Emily casually mentioned publishing a book of poems. She laughed with herself as she said it could be “about lesbian courtship,” little did she know it got me thinking.
I realized I’ve kept so much of my poetry writing to myself, I’ve been shy in sharing my true thoughts with others, for no real reason. As I continued to write, I thought about it more. Why wouldn’t I want to share such happiness with others? After thinking about it, I shied away from the fact that this wouldn’t just be sharing my thoughts, it would be sharing our relationship with others, and I quickly stepped back into the dark. I didn’t want to be bold and throw such private things out in the open like that. But she continued to talk about it.
Again, I thought about it, and quickly realized it was more about her than about me or others. I wanted to spoil her with words, which I had accomplished, so why not give it to her as a book. Sure, I could have done something simple, could have put a single book together for her, but as time continued, I realized that this was also an opportunity to share words of joy, love and devotion. And why not put such language into the world?
I think there’s something to be said about building a relationship with someone. It’s not easily done, it requires hard work and time, and Emily and I knew that. Not once have we viewed this relationship as something that will be easy. And I don’t say that to make it sound like our relationship has been difficult, it hasn’t. It’s been beautiful and natural, but we know we’re not in high school anymore, we understand what a relationship includes, we want the real thing, and I think that’s a prominent theme in my poems.
The book is short but sweet but covers the beginning of our relationship. It starts with my simple passing thoughts. Then slowly, my relationship appears. My words cover the ups and downs of a new relationship, the hopes and dreams as well as the needs and wants. I think as a new relationship buds, our definition of self, companionship and partner can change as part of a healthy growth process.
Here’s the link to my book, it’s available in both book form and Kindle.
As I ventured further into this new chapter of my life, I began to feel lost. Much of my move was to reestablish myself, rediscover myself and to build a life I felt fit right. As I began to let go of the things that once grounded me, and opened myself up to the new opportunities before me, I felt satisfied with life. Finding Emily changed that pattern again. I began to feel lost and needed to redefine myself again, but it wasn’t stressful or unhealthy. My job and relationship have allowed me to really focus on myself, allowed me to see where I want to go in this life, and reminded me how important it is to have a stable support system.
Just as before, I needed to feel lost before I could be found. And now, I feel as though I’m right where I should be!
That’s all! Until next time my friends!