Have you ever woken up extremely unhappy?
Felt like your life was going anywhere but in the direction you once believed it would?
Have you ever put something off until tomorrow, that you could have done today?
I have. I did.
And then, I decided enough was enough.
Here’s a personal journal entry that lead to me changing my life completely.
“June 6, 2014
What am I doing?
What am I holding onto?
What is keeping me back?
Me. Myself. And I.
We live in a world based on rational decisions. Realistic assumptions. Dwindled down drewms. We try to make sense of everything that cannot be explained.
Is life so simple, that I could point my finger at fear? Claim it won’t work. Dwell on every reason behind why not and erase the reasons saying go. Do we need to lose everything in one place in order to move onto the next.
Do we lose ourselves in the process?
How have I gone this long without reaching any of my major goals? Laziness. Lack of drive? Have I settled. That’s how I feel in my unsettled life.
My insides are screaming GO! With a force I’ve never felt before. Is it because I have nothing holding me back? Or because I have nothing I want here?
Reality’s rational life can suck it! We, daily base our choices off of what will benefit us in the long run… but what we really mean is we base our choices off of what will keep us near the American Dream of money and materialistic possessions,. But what we should really be doing is living. Point blank.
Where’s the excitement? The thrill of new things? I’m 27 – not dead! I’m a body filled with dreams, hopes, goals… unobtainable moments. But shouldn’t I reach for them anyway? Shouldn’t I learn the hard way, from experience, that somethings may not work out? Instead of relying on that book, or blog, news report, study, famous person, or story we heard about a friend of a friend who tried and failed? Shouldn’t we fail on our own so we have more knowledge? Or at least try and succeed – Show the world all that is possible instead of making the very idea of a happy life seem impossible?
Daily – I see, read and live a success story. I preach to everyone to reach anyway. To soar with clipped wings. To lead and not look back, all the while my feet root deeper and deeper into uncomfortable soil. Soil that only weighs me down and separates me from all I used to thrive for.
God Kylie. Listen to yourself. YOURSELF. Not the world. Not rational thoughts. Not fear. Yourself. You. Your insides. Your heart and soul.
Stop painting beautiful trees and landscapes and go find them! Stop dismissing your art, poetry, and stories for futuristic ideas. They are your unconscious screaming at you! Telling you that enough is enough.
The question is…
What are you gonna do about it?
The time is here. It’s now. Do it. DO IT – before you really can’t.”
It was a few days later, I made up my mind to follow a dream I’d had for 8 years; to move from Boston to Seattle.
Right now, I’m sitting on the couch in my new home in Seattle. Already, I feel at peace with myself, with all my previous choices, and with all the choices I have yet to make. I welcome this new struggle of a fresh start with open arms and a strong soul. I will post again when things settle more.
But I wanted to open up, share with others, that it is never too late to follow your dreams. It’s okay to completely uproot everything you’ve known for the life you’ve always wanted. I can’t say it was easy, I left many friends and family to peruse my dreams. But the love and support from those I love most helped me make that choice (and I thank them from the bottom of my heart). Just as I hope they find their own happiness, they hope I find mine – so I did.
So go, do something for yourself today. Don’t fear it, just let it happen. If it doesn’t work out, at least you tried!
Life is one grand adventure!
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'” Jeremiah 29:11